No Sex Please, We’re British

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No Sex Please, We’re British

Auditions for No Sex Please, We’re British
By Anthony Marriott and Alistair Foot, Directed by Jay Newman

Location: Presented live, in-person at the Pumphouse Theatre (2140 Pumphouse Ave. SW)
Date: October 8 – 16, 2021

For more information (including character descriptions), or to book an audition, visit, call 403.246.2999 or email

A young bride who lives above a bank with her husband who is the assistant manager, innocently sends a mail order off for some Scandinavian glassware. What comes is Scandinavian pornography. The plot revolves around what is to be done with the veritable floods of pornography, photographs, books, films, and eventually girls that threaten to engulf this happy couple. The matter is considerably complicated by the man’s mother, his boss, a visiting bank inspector, a police superintendent, and a muddled friend who does everything wrong in his reluctant efforts to set everything right, all of which works up to a hilarious ending of closed or slamming doors.

Submission deadline is Monday, July 19, 2021, 5:00pm.

Callbacks, if required, will take place  at the Morpheus Rehearsal Centre (3512 5th Ave. NW) in the lower level of the Parkdale Community Centre)

Audition Requirements

  • Auditioners are asked to prepare a self-tape audition with a short comedic monologue to highlight your abilities (no more than two minutes).
  • Auditioners are also asked to complete an audition form, with an acting resume and headshot.
  • Selected auditioners will be requested to attend an in-person callback to read with other performers on Monday, July 26, 2021, from 7:00 to 10:00pm.

Rehearsals will be Sunday evenings or afternoons, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Morpheus Theatre requires that auditioners come prepared to commit to the rehearsal and performance schedule.

Morpheus Theatre encourages individuals of all genders, ethnicities, and abilities to audition. Not a traditional actor? That is okay, get in touch with us and we will find a way for you to showcase what you have to offer.

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